Hey there,

Someone said something nice about you this week!

Not a throwaway. A real compliment, specific, clearly meant. And before you'd finished hearing it, you were already deflecting.

A small laugh. An "oh, it was nothing." Or you fired one straight back at them, fast, like a hostage exchange, so the attention had somewhere else to go.

Whatever it was, it took half a second and you weren't consulted.

It doesn't happen with every compliment.

Tell someone their shoes are great and they say thanks. Relatively easy. Most often without a flinch. There's nothing to defend, they know about the shoes.

The flinch only shows up when the kind thing lands on something you haven't decided about yourself yet. Your talent. Your kindness. Whether you're good at something.

Someone hands you a version of yourself you're not sure is true, so you hand it back before anyone can check the label.

Which is exactly what makes the flinch worth watching, because it's selective. Praise the shoes and it lands. Praise the kindness and it bounces.

So it tells you where the undecided parts are.

It's a map.

And somebody looked at that spot on the map today and saw something good there. While you had the doubts, they had the evidence.

— Ru
the16types

In case you missed it → I’m writing a book for every personality type. One by one. The first one - The Ultimate ENFP Guide - is coming Sept 7.

The latest: With just over one month left until launch day, I’m looking to give my subscribers (=you!) the e-book for free, in return for an honest review on Amazon (positive, neutral, negative, mixed, just honest) in September.

That gives you a whole month, to read the book for free! ;-)